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But don\u2019t take too long. When a child is given no explanation of his learning differences, he can only assume it\u2019s his fault and he must be stupid. It\u2019s best to help your child understand what\u2019s going on as soon as possible.<\/p>\r\n \r\n
Plan your talk.<\/h2>\r\n
Plan to speak to your child about dyslexia in a peaceful moment, taking care to reduce anxiety about this conversation. Be willing to put it off for tomorrow if you or your child has had a bad day. You want everyone to be calm and ready to listen.<\/p>\r\n
For this first introduction to dyslexia, speak to your child alone without siblings or extended family. Everyone will naturally have questions, and this will give your child the unrushed space to ask his questions first.<\/p>\r\n\r\n![\"Mother](\"https:\/\/blog.allaboutlearningpress.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/down-syndrom-heidi-4.jpg\")
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Know that this will not be a one-time conversation; the topic will come up again and again throughout your child\u2019s life. My children are adults now, and dyslexia still comes up from time to time. Stay ready and open to discussing it whenever your child feels the need.<\/p>\r\n\r\n
What to say.<\/h2>\r\n\r\n
Tell your child that his struggles in reading and spelling are caused by something called \u201cdyslexia.\u201d People with dyslexia learn differently than others because their brains are different. Brains send information along pathways called \u201cneuropathways,\u201d and in a dyslexic brain, the pathways for words and language aren\u2019t as clear or easy to follow. So, the brain has to work harder to use the information.<\/p>\r\n
Be sure to explain that your child is not alone in this! Many other people have dyslexia too; that\u2019s how scientists and other people know so much about it. Since dyslexia very often runs in families, you may be able to mention family members who also have it. If you know of others with dyslexia, mention them too. It\u2019s very reassuring to children to know that it\u2019s not only them. And it\u2019s extremely encouraging to hear of others with dyslexia who also struggled to learn to read and spell but were ultimately successful.<\/p>\r\n
If you don\u2019t know anyone with dyslexia, mention my son Jude. He had so much trouble learning to read, spell, and write. It took many years, but he now reads, spells, and writes as well as all of his friends and most other people. He\u2019s 21 years old now, a certified welder, and is working toward establishing his own business. Here is a photo of him when he was struggling with spelling and a photo of him now with his truck.<\/p>\r\n\r\n![\"Young](\"https:\/\/blog.allaboutlearningpress.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/AALP-Blog-Post-Photos-Combined.jpg\")
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There are other stories of dyslexic students having success on our blog. One of my favorites is Dyslexia and Hope<\/a>.<\/p>\r\n This may be all your child can handle in the first conversation. However, if he is ready for more, you can continue. Otherwise, there are topics to bring up in later, less-planned talks.<\/p>\r\n\r\n Reassure your child as often as he needs to hear it that he will learn to read and spell, and there will be a time when reading and writing are not hard for him. You will be helping him to learn, a team working together, teaching him in the way that he needs to learn<\/a>. It may take a long time, but he will be successful!<\/p>\r\n It\u2019s important that your child knows that having dyslexia does not mean that he is not smart. Intelligence and dyslexia are not connected at all. It just means he learns differently. If you think he may understand, go over the A Parent's Guide to the Neuroscience of Dyslexia<\/a> with him.<\/p>\r\n Make it clear that it is no one\u2019s fault that your child has dyslexia. It is simply a part of who he is.<\/p>\r\n\r\n It\u2019s also important to discuss your child\u2019s dyslexia with siblings and extended family. Grandparents may be concerned about your child\u2019s reading struggles, and they need to know that there is an underlying cause and you are addressing it. Your other children will notice that their dyslexic sibling needs more help and one-on-one teaching, and they need to know why.<\/p>\r\n Openly discuss with your child and his siblings how everyone has strengths and weaknesses. We tend to want to avoid discussing weaknesses, but since a dyslexic child\u2019s weaknesses are so apparent, it\u2019s essential for him to hear that others struggle with things he finds easy.<\/p>\r\n Talk about your weaknesses too. I know it can be hard to be that transparent with your children, but they\u2019ve probably already seen some of your weaknesses anyway. My children were well aware of my poor navigational skills because of how many times they were with me when I got lost, but I also candidly spoke of my difficulties with being sympathetic to others. It is something I still work at.<\/p>\r\n When you discuss your child\u2019s strengths, don\u2019t overlook less tangible things. My son Jude is so good with people and always has been. He puts them at ease, and people he has never met before genuinely enjoy spending time with him. His strengths in interpersonal skills are extraordinary and as worthy of admiration as a gifted student who is years above grade level.<\/p>\r\n\r\n When you work with your dyslexic child, it is important to praise effort as much as results. \u201cI noticed how hard you thought about that word before you spelled it. Great work!\u201d This goes a long way toward acknowledging the effort your child is giving. The hard work that goes into even small amounts of progress is all too easy to ignore because it\u2019s all internal. So it\u2019s important that your child knows you notice his hard work. Here are even more ways to be encouraging<\/a>.<\/p>\r\n But also celebrate success! When he reads a story with fluency, tell him so with a high five. When he finishes a level, do something extra special! Take a photo. We love seeing smiling students holding their Certificates of Completion! Go out for dinner, or shop at a bookstore. With my kids, I also gave them a full week off of a subject when they finished a level. No spelling for a week was refreshing after all the hard work!<\/p>\r\n \r\n Encourage and support your child in pursuing activities that he is good at and enjoys. If he doesn\u2019t have something he is good at, then make a plan to try lots of new things until he finds it. A struggling learner needs to have something that he can shine in!<\/p>\r\n\r\n You need to be prepared to advocate for your child with other adults that he interacts with. Co-op teachers, club organizers, and maybe even sports coaches need to be aware that your child may need more help than his peers in reading and writing. Discuss specific kinds of help your child may need, and offer suggestions for how this can be done in ways that won\u2019t overload the other adult.<\/p>\r\n If at all possible, have your child be present for these discussions. In time, he will need to learn to advocate for his own needs, and seeing how you approach it will help him when the time comes.<\/p>\r\n Help prepare your child for what to say to friends and peers. Even after he learns to read and spell well, he will make mistakes that others will notice. All of my children have experienced this more than once. When they are older, a simple \u201cI\u2019m dyslexic\u201d is all that is needed because teens and adults know enough about it to understand. But when your child is younger, teach him to say, \u201cI\u2019m dyslexic. That means my brain works differently, and sometimes I make mistakes or need help.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n Occasionally, a younger sibling will learn much more easily than your dyslexic child and will move ahead of him in a subject. This can cause hard feelings. Your dyslexic child may feel very bad that his little sister is doing better than him, and the younger sibling may become competitive and boastful.<\/p>\r\n The best thing you can do is approach it head-on. My son Jude was surpassed in math by his younger brother, who is two years his junior when they were in 4th and 2nd grades. The disparity was clear; even with different math curricula, it couldn\u2019t mask the fact that his younger brother had already mastered concepts that he was still struggling with.<\/p>\r\n So, we had lots of discussions about strengths and weaknesses. Jude\u2019s weakness in math was on display, so, with gentleness, I pointed out some of my younger son\u2019s weaknesses. And it just so happened that one of them matched up with one of Jude\u2019s strengths. They knew that Jude was good with his hands, always fixing things and making things, but he found math hard. His younger brother excelled in math but found using his hands for things difficult and struggled with even simple tool work. Both had to work harder at their weakness and did so for years. Jude did finally master algebra, and his younger brother went on to rebuild a truck engine.<\/p>\r\n\r\n Discussing dyslexia with your child is an ongoing conversation rooted in support and understanding and is a part of our overall commitment as parents. After all, isn't the essence of our role as parents to provide unconditional support and understanding to our children, regardless of their challenges? This caring and open approach goes beyond dyslexia and encompasses all aspects of our children's growth and development. We are creating an environment where our children feel valued, understood, and empowered to overcome difficulties and face all of life's challenges!<\/p>\r\n\r\n All About Reading<\/a><\/cite> and All About Spelling<\/a><\/cite> proved to be the perfect tools for helping my dyslexic children become so good at reading and spelling that people are surprised to hear they are dyslexic. I\u2019m always happy to help you<\/a> with any questions you may have!<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Robin E. Williams homeschooled her five children (four with dyslexia). She has counseled others on homeschooling for over 15 years and has worked in customer service for All About Learning Press for a decade. So you have discovered that your…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1238,"featured_media":44953,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[86],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nWhat to say next.<\/h2>\r\n
Talk with family too.<\/h2>\r\n
![\"All](\"https:\/\/blog.allaboutlearningpress.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/elizabeth-update.jpg\")
\r\n\r\nGive ongoing support.<\/h2>\r\n\r\n
Talking with others.<\/h2>\r\n\r\n
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\r\n\r\nWhat to do when a younger sibling overtakes your child with dyslexia.<\/h2>\r\n\r\n
In conclusion\u2026<\/h2>\r\n