{"id":13389,"date":"2022-09-19T09:00:47","date_gmt":"2022-09-19T14:00:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.allaboutlearningpress.com\/?p=13389"},"modified":"2022-09-19T09:07:48","modified_gmt":"2022-09-19T14:07:48","slug":"the-big-pit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.allaboutlearningpress.com\/the-big-pit\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Avoid the Big Pit of Comparison"},"content":{"rendered":"\"Mom\r\n\r\n

\u201cI\u2019m worried my child isn\u2019t making enough progress.<\/span>\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n

Most homeschool parents feel this way at one time or another. We regularly hear from parents who express concern about the progress their child has made\u2014or not made\u2014in reading and spelling.<\/p>\r\n\r\n

When we question the parent further, we often discover that the child has in fact made excellent progress, yet the parent doesn\u2019t recognize that progress.<\/p>\r\n\r\n

In these situations, however, the problem is actually much more likely to be related to the parent's expectations<\/span> for the child's progress, rather than to the child's actual<\/span> progress. It is very easy to become too focused on \u201cthe ideal.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n

What Is Your \u201cIdeal?\u201d<\/h2>\r\n\r\n

Your ideal may be different than someone else\u2019s. Maybe your ideal is to have your child complete All About Reading<\/cite> Level 4 by a certain age or to have him spell as well as the child next door. Maybe your ideal has been influenced by what your child\u2019s grandparents think about his progress. Or maybe it\u2019s even thinking ahead to your child\u2019s future college career with worried thoughts like, \u201cHow will he get into college if he can\u2019t even spell proficiently?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n

In all the cases above, focusing on the ideal can create frustration because, until your child actually reaches your ideal, you will always be focused on how far he still has to go until he reaches \u201cit\u201d \u2026 whatever<\/span> \u201cit\u201d may be.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\"Boy\r\n\r\n

To varying degrees, envisoning your child\u2019s future can serve you well because it helps you gauge what you need to do. After all, if you\u2019re completely happy with the status quo, there would be no reason to teach your children every day.<\/p>\r\n\r\n

But while focusing on ideals can help us set goals, it\u2019s not a great way to measure progress in a motivating way. In fact, always comparing your child to the ideal can lead to disappointment ... and the Big Pit of Comparison.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n

Stay Out of the Big Pit of Comparison<\/h2>\r\n\r\n

What is the Big Pit, you ask? This is the huge chasm between where your child\u2019s abilities are now and where you want him to be.<\/p>\r\n\r\n

The Big Pit is a bad thing. It\u2019s bad for you and for your motivation. And it\u2019s bad for your child, his sense of self-worth, his enthusiasm for learning, and his future progress.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\"Boy\r\n\r\n

So instead of this self-defeating way of looking at your child\u2019s progress, let\u2019s take a step back ... no, let\u2019s take a step up<\/span>.<\/p>\r\n\r\n

A Fresh Perspective<\/h2>\r\n\r\n

To better understand where your child is really at and to stay out of the Big Pit, it helps to get a bird\u2019s-eye view of your child's situation.<\/p>\r\n\r\n

\r\n\"Eagle

Look at the big picture from a vantage point where you can see the whole<\/span> continuum, beginning with where your child started and ending with your ideal.<\/p>\r\n\r\n

With this bird\u2019s-eye view, you can see the ideal off in the distance, but you can also see how far your child has come.<\/p><\/div>\r\n\r\n\"Happy\r\n\r\n

From this vantage point there is a LOT to celebrate.<\/h3>\r\n\r\n

What I would encourage you to do is frequently look backward instead of always looking forward. Instead of comparing your child to where you want him to be, think about where he started out. Then you can see how much progress has been made.<\/p>\r\n\r\n

When you give yourself a bird\u2019s-eye view, you can look back and see the ten-year-old who was struggling to read a year or two ago, but is now reading fluently. You can picture the boy who spent two or three days on each spelling lesson but can now complete a lesson in a day. You realize that the child who cried through every single fluency practice sheet<\/a> is now smiling through them.<\/p>\r\n\r\n

This new vantage point provides an inspiring perspective that will help you and your child stay motivated \u2026 and encouraged<\/a>. It changes everything, doesn\u2019t it? Can you<\/span> see the difference?<\/p>\r\n\r\n

Do you ever fall into the Big Pit of Comparison? What successes has your child had so far?<\/p>\r\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There will always be a huge chasm between your child\u2019s current ability and the place you want him to be. We call this the \u201cBig Pit.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":21853,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[7,6],"tags":[77,13],"yoast_head":"\nAvoiding the \u201cBig Pit\u201d of Comparison<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Learn how to avoid the Big Pit of comparison and focus on the importance of the progress that your child has made.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/blog.allaboutlearningpress.com\/the-big-pit\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Avoiding the \u201cBig Pit\u201d of Comparison\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Learn how to avoid the Big Pit of comparison and focus on the importance of the progress that your child has made.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/blog.allaboutlearningpress.com\/the-big-pit\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"All About Learning Press\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/allaboutlearningpress\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-09-19T14:00:47+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-09-19T14:07:48+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/blog.allaboutlearningpress.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/Avoiding-The-Pit-Title-1200x630-1.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1200\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"630\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Marie Rippel\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@LearningPress\" 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